it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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