I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
