Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
We named our party play list daddy issues
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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