return my video game
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
