I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police