am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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