OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
