I just pynch a tree in the face
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...