I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
If that was your dad, he is hot
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
