Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
