You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
