If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
