Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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