The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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