At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
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