i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
