Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
