I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
