haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
babies were throwing up all over the place
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
