i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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