one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Pooping to opera.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
