Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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