I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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