Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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