oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
