Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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