STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
