Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
