K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
