Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Houston, we have a squirter
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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