why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
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