Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
