You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
