chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
