i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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