Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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