he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
