I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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