My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
