she was so not down for the gang bang
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
