I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
