I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize