I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
