Umm I'm too high to move.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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