he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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