if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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