I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
