I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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