the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Randomize
