Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
