Tell her she can't have a vagina
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
