I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
