my vag is so smooth its legendary
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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