wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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