Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
