I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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