I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
