I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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