i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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