Your tits are I can't wait for
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
