I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
