Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
