why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
