i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
i've created a new STD.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
