if i can run in heels then i can drive
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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